There is a difference between being selfish, and investing in yourself. When you invest in yourself, you are able to give back to others. You must first feel fulfilled inside in order to adequately give back to others! If you feel bad, others that are around you will feel bad. It’s the law of attraction. You attract how you feel about yourself, and how you feel about yourself, determines what you bring in to your life. If I don’t like myself, then I will bring negative people, and negative circumstances in to my life. WE ALL HAVE A CHOICE.

According to, the definition of selfish is “devoted or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, regardless of others.” Yes, there are shitty people in the world, but that is their problem, not yours. If someone has no regard for others, trust me, he/she will learn the hard way. It’s not your job to take care of. Finding what makes you happy, what fills you up, what brings you joy, must be explored. Go do it, go figure yourself out, whatever that might look like. We are so quick to judge, yet so scared to be judged. We NEED a lot of time to ourselves; to know who we are, what we stand for, what we like, who we aspire to be. Spending time getting to know ourselves, reflecting on who we are, and asking all of the hard questions, allows us to feel that much stronger in the pursuit of where we want to go. We can work with others more easily. We develop the ability to understand the people in our lives who are out of alignment with our vision. This process is challenging, and can feel lonely at times. I have felt all of things. I have currently been going through it!

Do not let fear dictate your life. Choice and the will to be yourself always wins. Pray, meditate, write about being comfortable investing in yourself…If you feel like there are people who have hurt you, or will take offense to your decision in spending the weekend in, or wanting to skip out on this week’s small group, just remember; every action and reaction is done out of love. It may not seem like that in the moment, however, all of our natural instincts lie in the reasoning “because we care.” 

I feel like one of you is going through a tough circumstance right now. Please know I feel for you. When you feel as if the walls are closing in and there is no where you can go, the stress you are experiencing is like a rubber band ball, with each rubber band snapping slowly, one band at a time as the tension in and around you rises; Your chest is tightening, and you…STOP in this moment. Go for a walk. Call a friend. Draw. Write. BREATHE. Know these feelings are temporary, and identify them. Do something you love in these moments. You can do this. You are enough. You have a choice. Whoever you are I am here for you. Reach out to me. DM, email, text, I don’t care. You are loved, and everything we do is out of love. I am here for you, cheering you on all along the way. xx

Emily Yager